Meet anyone?

NO, not that kind, sadly.

Devon was at the first meet of the season on Saturday. He did well. 2 personal best times, and 1 more within 98% of his best time. The coaches challenged them to get both of those, and they would get points. If they achieved a certain level of combined points, they would get to play water polo instead of practice. The kids rose to the challenge, accumulating enough points to earn them 1 1/2 hours of water polo! LOL, what they don't realize is that playing waterpolo is great exercise as well, strengthening your core muscles.

The swim clinic was fantastic. Jenny Thompson is a genuinely nice person. I had the opportunity to chat with her for just a couple of minutes. Plus watching her interact with the kids was great, especially for the girls. What a super couple of role models we had at the pool this weekend!

I already posted an update about Don is the prior post comments, so I'm not going to rehash THAT again.

How was your weekend?

Do I hear an echo?

Bang head, step back, repeat. Yes, here we go again.

Don made it 100 days. *sigh* He said they were completely miserable 100 days. Gee, guess playing games with your kids, remembering what happens on the TV shows you watch, and getting sumpin sumpin from me makes you miserable? And drinking doesn't? Nope, only being sober does.

Oh, and he is amazed that I put up with it. I'm starting to wonder about that myself.

We have a super big weekend planned. 1st swim meet of the season for Devon, followed by a tailgate and Brewer game with 130 of our closest swim team friends, and about 30 from another team from Eau Claire. Oh, and we are hosting a mom/daughter, caused I signed up to be a host family when he was still busy being miserable. That should be interesting. The only good thing is that he won't have a lot of time to drink since we won't be home until maybe 9 or10 pm after the game.

Then Sunday a swim clinic with JENNY THOMPSON. Only the most decorated woman Olympic athlete in the US (or maybe world) history. And she is a medical doctor to boot. What a great role model! Oh, and then follow that with our annual swim banquet, where the kids get recognized for their accomplishments (as do the parents for their volunteering. So now instead of having a partner who can share all the running around, I have to do it all again?

Damn, this sucks.

Refining Silver

I got this in an email from a good friend. I really liked it, so I wanted to share it.


Malachi 3:3 says: 'He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God.

One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study.

That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining Silver.

As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities.

The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: 'He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver.'

She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time.

The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed.

The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, 'How do you know when the silver is fully refined?'

He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it."

If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you. Pass this on right now. This very moment, someone needs to know that God is watching over them. And, whatever they're going through, they'll be a better person in the end.

Peep Meet fun!

Kim & I had a great time meeting at the mall on Saturday! Well, I did! Not sure how she feels after being subjected to 5 kids and 1 husband...

Here is proof that we did have fun. At least we didn't spend $15 on the pics!

Office Biggest Loser

Ok, so the Bloggest Loser hasn't really stuck with me. Sorry Boo. Neither has the OT Loser thing. So yesterday one of our office peeps asks me if I want to join the 15 other people in the office doing a Office Biggest Loser contest. 9 weeks. She said we would be having fun challenges and prizes.

I'm all about the prizes, and if that can get me to drop some weight, I figured why not!?!

I'll fill in more details as I find out. She is pitching it to our Exec VP tomorrow.

In the meantime, I had chips and guacamole for lunch, along with tacos from Chipolte. Mmmmm.

Why am I so obsessed with weather?

I think I have always been, but it has really become an issue this winter. We are 8 inches away from snowfall record winter.

Today it is foggy, cold, rainy. Ick. But it beats the dang snow, right?

I blame Weatherman Don, my DH. How can I not be obsessed with weather, when we have a dang WEATHER STATION in our house? Yup, it is hooked up to Devon's computer, so we can know what the weather is doing outside by looking at it. Wouldn't it just be easier to look out the window?

So other new news. I got a Blackberry Pearl from work. Nice, cause it is a cool toy, and they would call me if needed anyway, so why not. Yesterday my IT guy downloaded a couple of fun ringtones for me. "Borderline" by Madonna, and to embarrass my kids "Low" by Flo Rida. *grin*

I like lambs

Well, I guess I mean I like months that go out like a lamb. Of course, winter in Wisconsin has been roaring like a lion since, oh, October? I dunno.

I was all excited when I thought of this post, seeing as how it is the last day of the month and we haven't had any snow for like, 4 days! Then I looked at a calendar and realized we have 1 more day. Then I looked at the weather forecast, and the whole lamb theory went out the window.

Well, at least it is thunderstorms and not thundersnow we are having tomorrow. I feel sorry for people who live in low lying areas, as there are all sorts of flood issues. We live on top of a hill, but we have our own little lake that shows up during times like these, near the bottom of the driveway.

Today is my last official day of freedom until August 3. Yup, swim break is over. Actually, today doesn't even count, because we volunteered at a Special Olympics meet. But I am not counting that as part of the swim season, cause it really wasn't. We had a great time. All 4 of us were in the awards area. I got to give ribbons to countless special needs swimmers, and I got lots of hugs in return. It is so wonderful to see those faces light up when I gave them a ribbon, whether it was 8th place or 1st place. Each swimmer got a ribbon, for the place they took in their heat.

So tomorrow we start back to swim. Devon is on schedule, he is not quitting! I am so thrilled by his decision. After he got sick before state, I was worried, but he told me not to worry about him missing state, that he still had 3 more to go before he aged up to the next level! Yay! He has some good goals for this season, and is excited to be getting back in the water. He did go to open swim last week, and is a bit worried about being out of shape, but he doesn't have a meet until April 26, plenty of time...

Marisa has her goals too. She wants to get 1 state cut, with a stretch goal of 7. She is quite a ways away, so has her work cut out for her, but I think the goal of at least 1 is very attainable.

I have mixed feelings about swim break being over. I love being at the pool and mingling with the other swim parents, and I feel like part of a big family, which is wonderful. But I have really enjoyed my evenings off this month. I found ebay as a seller, and have been having fun with that, but I will have to curtail that a bit, keeping it more reasonable.

Ok, off to make dinner. We're having spagetti, our favorite swim season food!

He is Risen

He is Risen indeed!

I'd like to take this opportunity to wish everyone in blogland a Happy Easter. Whether you are celebrating for the candy, or to celebrate our Risen Savior, I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

This is what it looked like here on Friday. I took this picture looking out my front door. We got about 15 inches of snow! That bumped this winter into the #2 spot for snowiest winters in Milwaukee. Happy Spring.

Update

Wow, it has been a few weeks since I updated. Sorry!

We officially ended our short course swim season on March 2, with the close of the 13 & over State Championships. Unfortunately, Devon didn't get to swim. He missed the last meet of the season because he was so sick, and as a result didn't have any qualifying times for state. It's all ok though. He is better now, and excited for the next season.

I find myself just as busy. I'm focusing on my job at work a lot lately. Not just getting my work done, but trying to do it better, and to do a better job at being the Controller. As a result, I'm not playing here or on OT much. But I still find a few minutes each day to either lurk or post a bit. I haven't forgotten about you either. Just reorganizing a bit.

I'm also enjoying being at home most evenings. I say most because I've had book clubs, swim board meetings, and Marisa's basketball games to go to yet. I find it amazing that I am able to get as much done as I do during the season, since I'm not getting much more done during the 2 weeks since the end of the season! I do find that with less to do in the evenings, I have become less efficient, and more lazy. Guess I can't win either way!

So now we have 2 full weeks left to relax, and nothing much to do! Yay! I can keep up with my TV watching, and hope to do some more reading. Of course I have to finish some tax returns too. I do the returns for my dad, sister and niece, along with ours.

Family life is going ok. Sometimes better than others. Don is not drinking, which is good. But he is often more testy, less patient, and more critical of the rest of us. It is trying at times, but I guess I'll take it over having an active alcoholic in the house. It can't always be perfect I guess. I do notice I have become a lot more independent as a person, and I wonder if that threatens him. Well, tough cookies.

One thing I am not doing is getting more sleep, and I need to really work on that. My goal is to get to sleep before 11pm every night that I have to get up at 5:30am the next morning, giving me 6.5 hours of sleep, which should be enough for me. And occasionally I'll hit the sack at *gasp* 10:30!

Ok darlings. Thanks for reading, and sticking by me. Thanks for the continued PMs, pings and emails. They mean so much to me, you will never really know.

*smooshes*

We're going to State!

We had a rough weekend last week. Marisa didn't make her state qualifying times, and was quite upset. Devon was sick all weekend, as a result he didn't swim so he didn't get any times either. But he wasn't as disappointed. He said that he still has 3 seasons to get a cut before he turns 15. LOL

So anyway, the week has been quiet, except for Devon being sick. He was scaring me. Not eating, stomach pains, lethargic, sleeping a lot, etc. I took him into the Dr on Tuesday and they tested him and found he doesn't have the flu, mono, high white cell count. His chest xray came back clear, so the dr (not my normal one) thought he might have a sinus infection, since he had some drainage and tenderness in his cheeks. So we started antibiotics. Finally last night he is starting to feel a little better, although he is staying home from school again today.

Anyway, Wed night we get a phone call from Marisa's swim coach. It turns out another girl who was a relay only swimmer for State hadn't shown up for any practices this week, so they bumped her and replaced her with Marisa! She is so excited! So she made it to the last practice last night, and was able to attend the pizza party they had after that. She got her State qualifiers tshirt, a fun painters cap her coach makes up, and a neat no-sew scarf one of the moms started making for last year's team.

So tomorrow and Sunday we will be getting up at 5am, driving 1 hour 20 min to Madison for her warm ups, waiting until 9am for her to swim, and then going back home. We debated staying in a hotel, but the rates are jacked up this weekend. Plus with Devon not feeling 100%, I want him to be comfortable. He may not even come along.

Go Marisa! Go Lake Country Swim Team!

UPDATE: We made it to Madison without a hitch both days. Devon was able to join us on Sunday. Yay! He feels pretty good, although still can't eat too much, and gets tired easily. Both understandable. Marisa swam like a crazy girl! On Sat she took 2.5 seconds off of her best time, and then on Sunday she took another second off of that! It seems my kids are repeating each other. Last year the short course state meet was the catalyst for Devon, and hopefully this year it will be Marisa's turn! She didn't win any medals or ribbons, but she had a great experience, and a lot of fun with her swim friends. She even met up with an old friend who moved away.
Thanks for your support!

It is still winter

Yes, I cannot tell a lie. Winter is still here is Wisconsin. Just look at our forecast.

10-14 inches of SNOW. ugh. It will start around 6pm tonight, through early afternoon tomorrow. I'm expecting the kids to have no school, and am actually considering taking a vacation day. It depends on whether I get my car back or not. I'm driving Don's car as mine is having something with the rotors repaired. Don's car is a little sports car, with tires well past their prime. I love driving it in summer, but not winter.

I am sorry I haven't been blogging much lately. I think the weather has to do with it in part. Things are nice and calm at home, which leaves me time for self reflection, instead of having to put out fires at home. I've decided I'm a messy person. I need to get to a place where I don't leave things laying around, and then end up handling them 4 times before finally throwing away.

Also I am trying really hard to actually work while I am at work. And then things happen, like the phone lines going down, or (more devastating for me) the internet going down. Last week we were without internet for almost an entire work day. I was completely amazed at the amount of work I accomplished, which is kind of a wake up call for me.

I'm getting a new boss, as the best boss ever is retiring at the end of 2008. He is already here, the new one, spending more and more time in the office (he was an outside salesman). I know he is going to have high expectations of me, and will be shadowing me probably this summer, so I need to get my act together and stop coasting.

So I am continuing in blogland, but maybe not as much as I was. For now.

*smooches* to all of you blurkers and posters!

9 years

I wanted to post this yesterday, but internet was down at work, and I didn't get access to a computer at home until very late.

9 years is a long time.

January 30, 1999 is the least favorite day in my life. It was the day my mom died. I miss her just about every day, and thank her for everything she did for me. I am the person I am because of my mom.

Love you mama.

DDR

No, not Germany. Dance Dance Revolution.

I got the kids a Wii for Christmas, or rather Santa did. Last night was the first time I had a chance to play with it. Marisa & I alternated doing dance steps on Dance Dance Revolution. I thought I was holding my own, but kept getting graded a D, even in the beginner level. Obviously the game doesn't understand me. That was fine until I accidentally selected the Expert Level. OMH, it must have been so hilarious to watch me. At one point I was just jumping around hitting the pads in any random order. I got an F on that one.

Surprisingly, I'm not sore today. In fact, my back was bothering me for the past 10 days, and today it barely hurts at all!

The game also has a "workout" selection. I think I will try that one as an alternative to sitting on the couch.

Back to work

Don went back to work today, for the first time since his boss confronted him. His boss has not been the most supportive guy. When Don called him on Friday that he was out of inpatient, his boss was surprised, and seemed negative. He also was trying to lay a guilt trip on Don about taking extra time this week. At first Don wasn't going to, and he asked my opinion (WOW!). I said I thought he should continue with "day patient" for Monday & Tuesday (yesterday & today). He decided to do yesterday, but not today.

When I called him a little while ago, and I asked how he was doing, he said "Fine. Things went well, as well as can be expected". Now WTH does that mean? Is he talking about the kids, and getting them off to school, which is a trick sometimes, or about coming back to work? I suggested that we will talk about it later, and he agreed.

So I think that things are not that great at work. I know his plan is to leave there within the next 6 months. I told him to leave now, if he wanted to. We could make it. We have other financial resources that we could utilize if we have to. His response? No, let's see if he fires me first. Then I'll collect unemployment and go back to school (for computer training, to add to the Accounting).

I really think his work environment is not a good one. I'm worried that it will lead to relapse. Please pray and keep thinking positive thoughts for Don.

It's been a nice week

It really has. I came to work on Monday feeling a great burden off of my shoulders, and feeling much happier than I have in a long time. I guess I didn't fully realize how bad my depression was getting. But Don going into detox/rehab lifted that from me. The kids have been very helpful, and now I know that they know how to fold laundry! *rubs hands together*

I picked Don up last night, and am feeling a lot better about this round than I was. He was very communicative, asked me some very pertinent questions, we had some good discussions. All of this is new for him. He hasn't ever really been very much of any of those. He even said to me that the counselors wanted him to ask me what I thought about him doing 2 more days of day patient on Monday & Tuesday, like he is today. He said that he thought he didn't need to, but I said I thought he did. So he is going to.

The downer part, he called his boss (the alcoholic who has been sober for 18 months) to talk, and asked him for the 2 extra days off. His boss gave him a hard time about it, saying that stuff was happening at work, laying a guilt trip on him. He did say that Don could take the 2 days though, as he was surprised that Don was already out of inpatient. Oh, and he asked for the name & number of Don's sponsor! That pissed me off. I don't think he has any right to that info. Don did tell me that one of his goals is to not have that job within the next 6 months. I told him he could quit right now, but he said, no, lets see if he fires me first. It seems Don would like to go back to school to get some computer classes to add to his finance/accounting background.

One thing I kind of chuckled about. His counselors told him that the only people he should actually say he is an alcoholic to are other alcoholics. That none alcoholics don't exactly understand, and have a propensity to judge. To the rest of us he should just say he doesn't drink alcohol any more. I think that is kind of weird, but whatever. I did laugh, thinking, ok, LOTS of peeps on RTVW know.

Tonight we have a swim meet, and I will be taking the kids there. It is at a pool about 1/2 hour from our house, the other way from Don's rehab center. He will be meeting us up there, as his day patient thing goes until the time we need to be at the pool. But I'm not worried about it this time.

As a side ucky note, we got several inches of snow yesterday evening. The previous 20 inches or whatever had finally melted, so I guess it isn't so bad. Is it Spring yet?

Have a great weekend, and GO PACKERS!

Next

Ok, so Don is now in detox for 3-4 days, and hopefully will stay inpatient for at least 5 days after that.

Now, the next problem? Dang, but it's a biggie.

Yesterday Devon drops the bomb that he wants to quit swimming. Yeah. WTF? He is swimming the best he ever has. Yes, he just aged up into the 13-14 group, but he enters that group in the middle of the pack, not the bottom, and not far from the top. He says it is boring. Well, yeah, we haven't had a meet since early December, and I know he loves the competition. He did quickly change his story to he wanted to quit for now, and resume with the next season, which starts after Easter. I was devastated.

This happened on the way to practice, so I said he had to tell his coach. His coach asked to talk to him after practice, so I brought him back (I had to bring Marisa for her practice anyway) and we had a meeting. I didn't say anything, I let his coach do the talking. He was great, telling Devon everything he needed to hear. I was still devastated, because I know how Devon is, when he makes up his mind. He is just like his mother.

Later I called one of his past coaches, whose son swims with Devon, and who is a friend of mine. She was completely caught by surprise too. Then she told me that she tried to do the same thing as a 13-14 year old and her dad made her finish the season, and said they would discuss it at that time. She didn't quit, and ended up being a state record holder in high school. So I told Devon that I was invoking "Mom power", and that I wouldn't accept him quitting mid season, but that we would talk about it in March.

I know his grades aren't where he wants them to be, but he also plays a lot on World of Warcraft, so I think we need to set up some more stringent limits on that too. And I'm sure all the issues with Don are causing more stress for both of our children, which is probably not helping the situation.

Thankfully, we have an easy meet this Friday, where I'm sure Devon will excel. Then hopefully he'll get back into enjoying swimming again.

I know that God only gives a person as much as they can handle, but sheesh, enough already!

Not too optimistic yet, but...

I posted most of this on OT, but in case you don't go there...

It seems Don's boss confronted him about his drinking today, and he is going to check into the clinic. I think for a week of inpatient, but I'm not sure. I'll find out more when I get home I guess.

I'd like to be a little miffed that it took his boss to push him, but I'm going to stick with the belief that it was part us and part his job. Over Christmas break DH did tell me he would seek help in 2008, as our insurance coverage restarts. I think his boss "inquiring" might have been the final catalyst. Heck, I don't care what made him decide, just that he does seek help, as our marriage is on the rocks right now.

I told him that I can't keep handling this. Christmas break, when he had off of work for nearly 10 days, and was probably drunk a total of 9 days, not including the hours of normal sleep, was intolerable. The good thing was it woke my dad up. Previously my dad had insinuated that Don's drinking was because I'm not home because of PartyLite (Ok, don't really do much there since June), or maybe the kids, because they are kids. Whatever, he is old school. But now my dad sees the truth. So that was the silver lining there.

He was going to go in tonight, but needs to get a bunch of stuff done at work, so has changed it to tomorrow morning. He said that sleeping there is really not comfortable, so he would rather start off in the morning. I think that is a form of procrastination, but the rose colored glasses come back on, and I think that might be better, cause I can drive him there tomorrow, whereas I can't tonight.

I have a feeling it will be a long night tonight though, so I guess I need those prayers and thoughts too.

I'm also realistic that this may not be the last time this happens. But we are all learning, and if it does continue on after this, I won't let it go this long. I'm getting stronger and smarter too.

Thanks for your support!

new stuff

I know quite a few of you are fans of PartyLite. You may or may not remember that I sell it.

Well, our new Winter/Spring 2008 catalog is available. You can access it here.

I'm excited about some of the new items and scents. If you get a chance to browse, I'd love to hear your opinions as well. There is a definite Asian/African theme to this year's catalog, if you ask me. It also seems they have toned down the modern aspect, or rather have added some new countryish items. You gotta see the items on pg 48-49. Cockadoodle Doo!


On another note:
After trying to be the winning bidder for Hannah Montana tickets since I couldn't buy them when they went on sale, since they sold out in 3 minutes online, I was successful last night. I was the winning bidder on 4 tickets in row U in the nosebleed section, and only paid less than double the face value+fees. I'm very happy about that, as the tickets were going for well over $100/ticket before Christmas, and nearly $200/ticket AFTER Christmas! I paid less! Wahoo! Marisa was jumping up and down for over 1/2 hour last night. I had planned on selling 2 of the tickets, hoping to recoup some costs, but now Don says he wants to go too, so I will sell one of them. I really don't want him to go, plus I won't get as much for the 1 ticket compared to selling a pair. But I don't want to be a total beyotch.

Happy New Year

Hope everyone reading this had a safe New Years Eve and wishing all of you a Happy 2008.

The good, bad and ugly

No, this is not a movie. This is our life. Although if Clint Eastwood wants to come and do a shoot-em-up scene, he is welcome to.

The good was good. Kids had an enjoyable Christmas, opening presents, and spending time with their Opa, my dad. They loved the Wii that I bought them. Marisa is really good at the games. They were happy to get all the clothes they did too. The kids were great this weekend. They are getting so mature. *sigh* Also, I got a great camera. It is a Canon Rebel XTI. Lots of bells and whistles. That is almost all that I wanted. I didn't get the other thing, which leads to the bad.

The bad was bad. Don spent most of the weekend drunk. My dad is really upset about this. This part of the bad is a little good, from a selfish perspective. You see, my family has always thought Don just about walked on water. Now they have seen that he is an alcoholic, and that it really isn't my fault or the kids fault. I just ignore him when he gets like that, or if I have to put him in his place because he is being a jerk, I will do that too. My dad said he wants to talk to Don, and let him know it is apparent to him that Don is losing his family. Devon was supposed to have a dr appt today, but both kids were afraid to get in the car without me driving, so I had to reschedule it for next Monday, when I have off of work. Of course that made Don mad, and he drank even more last night. Nothing new there though.

Hence the ugly. On Christmas Eve he was drunk by noon. No one had yet arrived at our house, and about 1:30 he passed out on our bed. We were going to church for 3pm service, so after I asked him if he was going, and after responding "yes" he resumed sleeping anyway, so my dad, the kids and I left. It was a very nice service, and I really enjoyed it, and remembered that my family is really in Gods hands. Curiously, no one at church asked where he was. When we got back, some of the family was there, and he seemed a little better. Then more came, and he got drunk again. His sister, who knows, questioned him on it. It almost turned into an ugly scene, but they went downstairs where no one was sitting and had a long talk. Of course he gave the whole sob story about that he needed help, and I wasn't helping, etc etc. She actually semi believed him, until I confronted them about it. Meanwhile, his brother, who doesn't know, also noticed that he was visibly impaired (stumbling, unfocused, etc). He asked their sister, and said he wondered if Don was on some medication, since I was pretty much ignoring the situation. I figured I would let him create his own problem. Well, their sister set his brother straight. Of course Don had told his sis that he was going to talk to his brother about it, but neither said anything about it to the other, to the best of my knowledge. After everyone left around 11pm, he passed out again, and I was left to wrap all the presents. It was a late night, but I guess I had some peace & quiet, so it was ok. All in all, a typical weekend in the dragonflies house. Now you know why I like Mon-Friday best.

Today my boss brought in a bunch of yummy cookiez. Yay! Another reason to like weekdays!

I sincerely hope you had a wonderful Christmas, weekend, Tuesday. Smooch!