I wanted to post this yesterday, but internet was down at work, and I didn't get access to a computer at home until very late.
9 years is a long time.
January 30, 1999 is the least favorite day in my life. It was the day my mom died. I miss her just about every day, and thank her for everything she did for me. I am the person I am because of my mom.
Love you mama.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
DDR
No, not Germany. Dance Dance Revolution.
I got the kids a Wii for Christmas, or rather Santa did. Last night was the first time I had a chance to play with it. Marisa & I alternated doing dance steps on Dance Dance Revolution. I thought I was holding my own, but kept getting graded a D, even in the beginner level. Obviously the game doesn't understand me. That was fine until I accidentally selected the Expert Level. OMH, it must have been so hilarious to watch me. At one point I was just jumping around hitting the pads in any random order. I got an F on that one.
Surprisingly, I'm not sore today. In fact, my back was bothering me for the past 10 days, and today it barely hurts at all!
The game also has a "workout" selection. I think I will try that one as an alternative to sitting on the couch.
I got the kids a Wii for Christmas, or rather Santa did. Last night was the first time I had a chance to play with it. Marisa & I alternated doing dance steps on Dance Dance Revolution. I thought I was holding my own, but kept getting graded a D, even in the beginner level. Obviously the game doesn't understand me. That was fine until I accidentally selected the Expert Level. OMH, it must have been so hilarious to watch me. At one point I was just jumping around hitting the pads in any random order. I got an F on that one.
Surprisingly, I'm not sore today. In fact, my back was bothering me for the past 10 days, and today it barely hurts at all!
The game also has a "workout" selection. I think I will try that one as an alternative to sitting on the couch.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Back to work
Don went back to work today, for the first time since his boss confronted him. His boss has not been the most supportive guy. When Don called him on Friday that he was out of inpatient, his boss was surprised, and seemed negative. He also was trying to lay a guilt trip on Don about taking extra time this week. At first Don wasn't going to, and he asked my opinion (WOW!). I said I thought he should continue with "day patient" for Monday & Tuesday (yesterday & today). He decided to do yesterday, but not today.
When I called him a little while ago, and I asked how he was doing, he said "Fine. Things went well, as well as can be expected". Now WTH does that mean? Is he talking about the kids, and getting them off to school, which is a trick sometimes, or about coming back to work? I suggested that we will talk about it later, and he agreed.
So I think that things are not that great at work. I know his plan is to leave there within the next 6 months. I told him to leave now, if he wanted to. We could make it. We have other financial resources that we could utilize if we have to. His response? No, let's see if he fires me first. Then I'll collect unemployment and go back to school (for computer training, to add to the Accounting).
I really think his work environment is not a good one. I'm worried that it will lead to relapse. Please pray and keep thinking positive thoughts for Don.
When I called him a little while ago, and I asked how he was doing, he said "Fine. Things went well, as well as can be expected". Now WTH does that mean? Is he talking about the kids, and getting them off to school, which is a trick sometimes, or about coming back to work? I suggested that we will talk about it later, and he agreed.
So I think that things are not that great at work. I know his plan is to leave there within the next 6 months. I told him to leave now, if he wanted to. We could make it. We have other financial resources that we could utilize if we have to. His response? No, let's see if he fires me first. Then I'll collect unemployment and go back to school (for computer training, to add to the Accounting).
I really think his work environment is not a good one. I'm worried that it will lead to relapse. Please pray and keep thinking positive thoughts for Don.
Friday, January 11, 2008
It's been a nice week
It really has. I came to work on Monday feeling a great burden off of my shoulders, and feeling much happier than I have in a long time. I guess I didn't fully realize how bad my depression was getting. But Don going into detox/rehab lifted that from me. The kids have been very helpful, and now I know that they know how to fold laundry! *rubs hands together*
I picked Don up last night, and am feeling a lot better about this round than I was. He was very communicative, asked me some very pertinent questions, we had some good discussions. All of this is new for him. He hasn't ever really been very much of any of those. He even said to me that the counselors wanted him to ask me what I thought about him doing 2 more days of day patient on Monday & Tuesday, like he is today. He said that he thought he didn't need to, but I said I thought he did. So he is going to.
The downer part, he called his boss (the alcoholic who has been sober for 18 months) to talk, and asked him for the 2 extra days off. His boss gave him a hard time about it, saying that stuff was happening at work, laying a guilt trip on him. He did say that Don could take the 2 days though, as he was surprised that Don was already out of inpatient. Oh, and he asked for the name & number of Don's sponsor! That pissed me off. I don't think he has any right to that info. Don did tell me that one of his goals is to not have that job within the next 6 months. I told him he could quit right now, but he said, no, lets see if he fires me first. It seems Don would like to go back to school to get some computer classes to add to his finance/accounting background.
One thing I kind of chuckled about. His counselors told him that the only people he should actually say he is an alcoholic to are other alcoholics. That none alcoholics don't exactly understand, and have a propensity to judge. To the rest of us he should just say he doesn't drink alcohol any more. I think that is kind of weird, but whatever. I did laugh, thinking, ok, LOTS of peeps on RTVW know.
Tonight we have a swim meet, and I will be taking the kids there. It is at a pool about 1/2 hour from our house, the other way from Don's rehab center. He will be meeting us up there, as his day patient thing goes until the time we need to be at the pool. But I'm not worried about it this time.
As a side ucky note, we got several inches of snow yesterday evening. The previous 20 inches or whatever had finally melted, so I guess it isn't so bad. Is it Spring yet?
Have a great weekend, and GO PACKERS!
I picked Don up last night, and am feeling a lot better about this round than I was. He was very communicative, asked me some very pertinent questions, we had some good discussions. All of this is new for him. He hasn't ever really been very much of any of those. He even said to me that the counselors wanted him to ask me what I thought about him doing 2 more days of day patient on Monday & Tuesday, like he is today. He said that he thought he didn't need to, but I said I thought he did. So he is going to.
The downer part, he called his boss (the alcoholic who has been sober for 18 months) to talk, and asked him for the 2 extra days off. His boss gave him a hard time about it, saying that stuff was happening at work, laying a guilt trip on him. He did say that Don could take the 2 days though, as he was surprised that Don was already out of inpatient. Oh, and he asked for the name & number of Don's sponsor! That pissed me off. I don't think he has any right to that info. Don did tell me that one of his goals is to not have that job within the next 6 months. I told him he could quit right now, but he said, no, lets see if he fires me first. It seems Don would like to go back to school to get some computer classes to add to his finance/accounting background.
One thing I kind of chuckled about. His counselors told him that the only people he should actually say he is an alcoholic to are other alcoholics. That none alcoholics don't exactly understand, and have a propensity to judge. To the rest of us he should just say he doesn't drink alcohol any more. I think that is kind of weird, but whatever. I did laugh, thinking, ok, LOTS of peeps on RTVW know.
Tonight we have a swim meet, and I will be taking the kids there. It is at a pool about 1/2 hour from our house, the other way from Don's rehab center. He will be meeting us up there, as his day patient thing goes until the time we need to be at the pool. But I'm not worried about it this time.
As a side ucky note, we got several inches of snow yesterday evening. The previous 20 inches or whatever had finally melted, so I guess it isn't so bad. Is it Spring yet?
Have a great weekend, and GO PACKERS!
Sunday, January 06, 2008
Next
Ok, so Don is now in detox for 3-4 days, and hopefully will stay inpatient for at least 5 days after that.
Now, the next problem? Dang, but it's a biggie.
Yesterday Devon drops the bomb that he wants to quit swimming. Yeah. WTF? He is swimming the best he ever has. Yes, he just aged up into the 13-14 group, but he enters that group in the middle of the pack, not the bottom, and not far from the top. He says it is boring. Well, yeah, we haven't had a meet since early December, and I know he loves the competition. He did quickly change his story to he wanted to quit for now, and resume with the next season, which starts after Easter. I was devastated.
This happened on the way to practice, so I said he had to tell his coach. His coach asked to talk to him after practice, so I brought him back (I had to bring Marisa for her practice anyway) and we had a meeting. I didn't say anything, I let his coach do the talking. He was great, telling Devon everything he needed to hear. I was still devastated, because I know how Devon is, when he makes up his mind. He is just like his mother.
Later I called one of his past coaches, whose son swims with Devon, and who is a friend of mine. She was completely caught by surprise too. Then she told me that she tried to do the same thing as a 13-14 year old and her dad made her finish the season, and said they would discuss it at that time. She didn't quit, and ended up being a state record holder in high school. So I told Devon that I was invoking "Mom power", and that I wouldn't accept him quitting mid season, but that we would talk about it in March.
I know his grades aren't where he wants them to be, but he also plays a lot on World of Warcraft, so I think we need to set up some more stringent limits on that too. And I'm sure all the issues with Don are causing more stress for both of our children, which is probably not helping the situation.
Thankfully, we have an easy meet this Friday, where I'm sure Devon will excel. Then hopefully he'll get back into enjoying swimming again.
I know that God only gives a person as much as they can handle, but sheesh, enough already!
Now, the next problem? Dang, but it's a biggie.
Yesterday Devon drops the bomb that he wants to quit swimming. Yeah. WTF? He is swimming the best he ever has. Yes, he just aged up into the 13-14 group, but he enters that group in the middle of the pack, not the bottom, and not far from the top. He says it is boring. Well, yeah, we haven't had a meet since early December, and I know he loves the competition. He did quickly change his story to he wanted to quit for now, and resume with the next season, which starts after Easter. I was devastated.
This happened on the way to practice, so I said he had to tell his coach. His coach asked to talk to him after practice, so I brought him back (I had to bring Marisa for her practice anyway) and we had a meeting. I didn't say anything, I let his coach do the talking. He was great, telling Devon everything he needed to hear. I was still devastated, because I know how Devon is, when he makes up his mind. He is just like his mother.
Later I called one of his past coaches, whose son swims with Devon, and who is a friend of mine. She was completely caught by surprise too. Then she told me that she tried to do the same thing as a 13-14 year old and her dad made her finish the season, and said they would discuss it at that time. She didn't quit, and ended up being a state record holder in high school. So I told Devon that I was invoking "Mom power", and that I wouldn't accept him quitting mid season, but that we would talk about it in March.
I know his grades aren't where he wants them to be, but he also plays a lot on World of Warcraft, so I think we need to set up some more stringent limits on that too. And I'm sure all the issues with Don are causing more stress for both of our children, which is probably not helping the situation.
Thankfully, we have an easy meet this Friday, where I'm sure Devon will excel. Then hopefully he'll get back into enjoying swimming again.
I know that God only gives a person as much as they can handle, but sheesh, enough already!
Friday, January 04, 2008
Not too optimistic yet, but...
I posted most of this on OT, but in case you don't go there...
It seems Don's boss confronted him about his drinking today, and he is going to check into the clinic. I think for a week of inpatient, but I'm not sure. I'll find out more when I get home I guess.
It seems Don's boss confronted him about his drinking today, and he is going to check into the clinic. I think for a week of inpatient, but I'm not sure. I'll find out more when I get home I guess.
I'd like to be a little miffed that it took his boss to push him, but I'm going to stick with the belief that it was part us and part his job. Over Christmas break DH did tell me he would seek help in 2008, as our insurance coverage restarts. I think his boss "inquiring" might have been the final catalyst. Heck, I don't care what made him decide, just that he does seek help, as our marriage is on the rocks right now.
I told him that I can't keep handling this. Christmas break, when he had off of work for nearly 10 days, and was probably drunk a total of 9 days, not including the hours of normal sleep, was intolerable. The good thing was it woke my dad up. Previously my dad had insinuated that Don's drinking was because I'm not home because of PartyLite (Ok, don't really do much there since June), or maybe the kids, because they are kids. Whatever, he is old school. But now my dad sees the truth. So that was the silver lining there.
He was going to go in tonight, but needs to get a bunch of stuff done at work, so has changed it to tomorrow morning. He said that sleeping there is really not comfortable, so he would rather start off in the morning. I think that is a form of procrastination, but the rose colored glasses come back on, and I think that might be better, cause I can drive him there tomorrow, whereas I can't tonight.
I have a feeling it will be a long night tonight though, so I guess I need those prayers and thoughts too.
I'm also realistic that this may not be the last time this happens. But we are all learning, and if it does continue on after this, I won't let it go this long. I'm getting stronger and smarter too.
Thanks for your support!
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
new stuff
I know quite a few of you are fans of PartyLite. You may or may not remember that I sell it.
Well, our new Winter/Spring 2008 catalog is available. You can access it here.
I'm excited about some of the new items and scents. If you get a chance to browse, I'd love to hear your opinions as well. There is a definite Asian/African theme to this year's catalog, if you ask me. It also seems they have toned down the modern aspect, or rather have added some new countryish items. You gotta see the items on pg 48-49. Cockadoodle Doo!
On another note:
After trying to be the winning bidder for Hannah Montana tickets since I couldn't buy them when they went on sale, since they sold out in 3 minutes online, I was successful last night. I was the winning bidder on 4 tickets in row U in the nosebleed section, and only paid less than double the face value+fees. I'm very happy about that, as the tickets were going for well over $100/ticket before Christmas, and nearly $200/ticket AFTER Christmas! I paid less! Wahoo! Marisa was jumping up and down for over 1/2 hour last night. I had planned on selling 2 of the tickets, hoping to recoup some costs, but now Don says he wants to go too, so I will sell one of them. I really don't want him to go, plus I won't get as much for the 1 ticket compared to selling a pair. But I don't want to be a total beyotch.
Well, our new Winter/Spring 2008 catalog is available. You can access it here.
I'm excited about some of the new items and scents. If you get a chance to browse, I'd love to hear your opinions as well. There is a definite Asian/African theme to this year's catalog, if you ask me. It also seems they have toned down the modern aspect, or rather have added some new countryish items. You gotta see the items on pg 48-49. Cockadoodle Doo!
On another note:
After trying to be the winning bidder for Hannah Montana tickets since I couldn't buy them when they went on sale, since they sold out in 3 minutes online, I was successful last night. I was the winning bidder on 4 tickets in row U in the nosebleed section, and only paid less than double the face value+fees. I'm very happy about that, as the tickets were going for well over $100/ticket before Christmas, and nearly $200/ticket AFTER Christmas! I paid less! Wahoo! Marisa was jumping up and down for over 1/2 hour last night. I had planned on selling 2 of the tickets, hoping to recoup some costs, but now Don says he wants to go too, so I will sell one of them. I really don't want him to go, plus I won't get as much for the 1 ticket compared to selling a pair. But I don't want to be a total beyotch.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Happy New Year
Hope everyone reading this had a safe New Years Eve and wishing all of you a Happy 2008.
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