update

I'm having a little bit of a bad day today. A little pity party has been building up inside of me, and is leaking out. I'm sick of everything right now. Especially always being upbeat and smiley and happy, when I'm not. I know most of it is for my kids benefit, which is what gets me through these little episodes.

I had a nice little chat with a friend who has gone through this, and she compared dating to looking for a new hairdresser. You are always worried that no one can take the place of your current hair dresser, because he/she does your hair just they way you like it, and whenever you try to explore other alternatives either it turns out not as nice or you just chicken out. So when I'm ready to explore dating, I will have to have my tag line be "looking for a new hairdresser". lol. Ok, it seemed more funny last night after a glass of wine.

As for Don and his craziness, not much new has happened lately. That is good, right?!
Don is seeming to be back to a little closer to normal lately. He seems more stable, and reality is hitting him smack upside the head, pretty hard. He has dug himself a pretty large hole in life, between financial issues and with the kids. They really don't want much to do with him. Never bring him up, and obviously don't "enjoy" his visits. I mean I think they are glad he comes by, he is their dad, as long as he seem normalish. But neither really miss him when he is gone.

Seems Don's gf had to get a 2nd job, since her salon business took a dump after she moved out of the city she lived in. Not sure where they are living, but I don't really care. You'd think he would just cave and get any job, but I guess he is above that. Never knew what a snob he was. Shoot, if the roles were reversed, I'd be pounding the pavement getting whatever job I could.

He is still hanging around the house quite a bit. It is annoying at times. I continue to be amazed at his lack of understanding what divorce means. He asked the other day if he would still be able to come by after it is final. Um, no. I reminded him that divorce means 2 people go their separate ways. The only good thing about him coming to the house is (well there are a couple of things) a. he does little odd jobs like dishes after dinner, and putting the patio furniture out, etc. b. I can monitor what he is doing with the kids. c. the kids don't have to go anywhere. But that being said, at some point in time I will be moving on with my life (I shudder to even think about dating) and there really won't be room for him to be there anymore.

Thanks again to all of my supportive friends and family! Most of them will never know this blog exists, but it is nice to see it in writing.

PS. My new obsession is the Decorah Eaglets. I watch them whenever I possibly can. They will fledge around July 4, and I will be happy, yet sad.